In Doubt of One’s Faith

Have you ever questioned or doubted God, even for just one moment in your life? Have you not doubted His love for you whenever troubles in your life come ahead? Has your faith ever been shaken by painful experiences that you think God allowed to happen in your precious life? Have you ever wondered if He even listens to you when you pray?

I have. And I have been questioning God and questioning my faith whenever painful experiences come my way.

A lot of people I know might think that I am a strong woman of faith, but the truth is, most of the time, I am weak. Weak to handle pain. Vulnerable to suffering. Fragile to the very core.

But despite having a lot of questions in life, especially in terms of painful experiences, I guess it was the Lord’s way of allowing me to seek for answers.

2 Corinthians 12:9

For others, it might be hard to understand. Some may even disagree, but for a person like me, I think, that questioning God works for me, ‘cause the Lord allows me to find answers to my own questions. Yes, never leave that part out. That is the most essential thing in this process –finding or seeking answers to your questions. Because if you don’t, your faith will surely falter.

The most important part in learning is not about asking the question, but your eagerness to know and find out what the answer is through your question. Same thing goes with Faith. You question, but you do not stop there. Instead you pray and seek answers from the Lord.

Sa dami ba naman ng mabibigat na problema na pinagdaanan ko,ikaw ba, hindi ba sasagi sa isip mo na tanungin ang Diyos kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay na ito sayo? Sa mga panahon din na tinanong ko ang Diyos, nang maraming-maraming beses, He always provided me with answers. Answers in the simplest form; almost impossible for you to notice during the times when you feel happy. This have always made my faith in Him a lot stronger, and it assures me that He is there for and with me.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I do believe that whenever I pray, especially when I am feeling a little too negative on a lot of things, the Lord find ways to make me see other positive things and He would make me smile.

Like in one instance, there was a time that I was staying in the school chapel. I was experiencing a tough problem at that time. I cried as I was praying; then all of a sudden, I noticed a cat coming to where I was seated. You see, I am a cat person, and I just find cats very adorable, and I bet that the Lord knows that! The moment I saw the cat, I smiled. Right at that moment, I knew that the Lord allowed that to happen. He wanted me to see the cat, because he wanted to see me smile. The Lord wanted me to know that He listens to my prayers. He sees my pain and He knows what I’m going through. He showed me comfort by letting me see the things He knows that will make me happy; simple things that can make me smile.  And I know that through those simple things– the things that I usually find quite normal when I’m not sad, or feeling bad –He made me realize or notice that it was His way of saying, “Smile now, my dear child. I’m here. I got your back!” 🙂


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